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I am more at peace with the questions PDF Print E-mail
Written by Ruth Abelmann   


(Ruth Abelmann's graduation speech from the YogaLife Institute's 500 hour teacher training program. Congratulations Ruth and thank you for sharing this.)

ruth abelmannA little over 2 years ago I called Julie to inquire about the YogaLife Institute teacher training 2 program. She asked why I was interested in continuing my teacher training? I explained that there was so much I felt I did not know, yet I was teaching yoga as best I could. I mentioned that I felt I lacked knowledge about the anatomy and that I felt I needed more to be sure I was doing no harm in my classes, that I wanted to be the best I can be as a teacher.

Two years later I recognize I am still a beginner on this yoga journey and I still lack knowledge about the anatomy. I am just as humbled by yoga as I was before tt2, however, as I have reached out to yoga, yoga has reached out to me. As I have taught yoga, yoga has taught me. There are moments when I feel I have so much to learn and other moments when I feel the infinite resources in me are complete and enough. Yoga talks to me, moves through me, speaks for me, listens and is alive in all parts of my life. The more I am open to yoga, the more it is open to me. 

I feel I am at my best when I share yoga on and off the mat. The more effortless I am, the more bliss I have to share. It is truly as if I found yoga and yoga found me. When I just am, when I trust, when I breathe, yoga flows through me allowing me to share and connect inward and outward.

At Blue Moon I have learned to embrace the questions and let go of the need for answers. I have learned to trust, seek and live with the questions understanding that understanding will follow, and it always does.

In re-reading the pages and pages of notes I have taken during these seminars which are revealed from the collective wisdom of the people and energy that fills the Blue Moon space, there are some questions and thoughts that I know I want to return to - over and over.

What is the relationship between detachment and indifference?
What is the relationship between detachment and worry?
How do I invite my energy to be my guide?
How cool that wherever we have lost our happiness may be exactly where we find it.
How we breathe is how we live.
How lucky I am to feel so full of energy that I can't help but pass it on.
How can we be a witness with non-judgment, how does life change when we do this?
We are forever changed by those we connect with - how fortunate to be connected to the Blue Moon community.
What is the relationship between pure intention and freedom from suffering?
What does it mean to be awakened in life?
How can we find the blue sky beneath the weather of our mood?
What's the difference between Human Being and Human Being?
Is our belief structure supporting our bliss?
What inspires me? What inspires us?
What we resist will persist - I have gone back to this over and over.
The secret of satisfaction is to want what you already have.
How does the quality of your energy impact your work/your teaching.
What is the connection between passion and spirit?
What a cool concept, we can de-stress by adding joy!
I don't have to teach faith, but I can catch faith.
What are we like when we feel whole?
What is the difference between good energy and high energy?
What does it mean to pray, hope for the best possible outcome?
How cool that we can find the sacred in the moment to moment ordinary.

Here's the difference from 2 years ago and today. I leave this tt2 experience with more questions than when I came, but in the process I am more at peace with the questions, more trusting, more at ease and as I come to be this way the yoga fills me every day with more and more joy, goodness, and contentment.

I will still study and practice yoga and yoga will still study and practice with me. I am grateful to be given the gift of yoga, and to be asked by yoga to share it with others. While initially I felt I had chosen yoga, now I feel yoga has chosen me and we simply are living as one, being as one, sharing and loving as one. What a blessing. I thank my mentor Beth Tener and the Blue Moon community for playing such a big role in this blessing.